January 2011

Friendship

Its easy to take our friendship,
and each other for granted-
to forget what life would be like,
without each other to laugh with,
to be with, to care about…. But
whenever I slow down and give our
Friendship a thought,
I still feel that… its one of the
finest relationship I have and I still
see the same sentiment reflecting in you!!!

Rajni Jokes

RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITs!!!!!!

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RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
…….. LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA!!!!!!!!!!

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RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITs!!!!!!

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GOVERNMENT OF INDIA PAYS TAX TO RAJANIKANTH FOR  LIVING  IN INDIA!!!!!!!

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DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN RAJANIKANTH STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON. THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!

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Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary!!

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Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth. Result: He is in a wheel chair in Gujarish.

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Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play

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Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in jr.college……………. He chose science,arts and commerce!!!!!!!

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Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

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One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs… Thats how the Log table was invented.

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One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

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Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC….
And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it!

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Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?

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Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me anything.
Rajnikanth: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET??

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All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did…
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa… mind it!!

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Taxes!!!

A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for
weeks, but nothing
happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter
requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter
addressed to God,
they decided to forward it to the President as a joke.

The President was so amused, that he instructed his
secretary to send
the little boy Rs.20 . The President thought this would
appear to be a
lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to
spoil the kid. The
little boy was delighted with Rs.20 , and decided to
write a thank you
note to God, which read:

“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed
that you sent it through the Government officials, and those
donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes …”

if restaurants were run like microsoft

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.

Patron: No, it’s still there.

Waiter: Maybe it’s the way you’re using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it’s a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I’m running late now.

Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn’t ready yet.

Patron: Well, I’m so hungry now, I’ll eat anything.

Waiter leaves.

Patron: Waiter! There’s a gnat in my soup!

The check:

Soup of the Day …………………………….. $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day ………. $2.50
Access to support …………………………… $1.00

Will the map of India change in 2011?

It’s been a decade since the last time the map of India changed. Whether it will change again depends on how the central government handles the demand for a separate state of Telangana.

And on that depends whether the map will change again (trifurcating Uttar Pradesh?) and again (bifurcating Maharashtra?) and again (a new state in the north-east?).

Activists of Telangana Joint Action Committee shout slogans as they form a human chain during a protest in front of the Charminar in the southern Indian city of Hyderabad February 3, 2010. The protest was held to demand a new state to be carved in southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, the activists said on Wednesday.

The Srikrishna committee report is to be made public on Jan 6. Media reports suggest it will not take a definite for/against position. Moreover, the panel’s terms of reference were focused on Andhra Pradesh.

In the long run, more important than what the govt does with the report is how it goes about creating, rejecting or conceding a new state.

A piecemeal response, depending on how violently a movement garners attention, may only encourage similar politically motivated demands.

There is an argument for a more thought-out, streamlined, reasoned process through a new states reorganisation panel. There are various arguments for and against creating smaller states.

But none of them seem to be clinching in practice, so varied has been the experience of going from 500 plus princely states to the 29 at present.

The creation of Andhra Pradesh in the 1950s set off country-wide state reorganisation based on ‘one state, one language’.

But the only thing proven so far is that states created on the basis of language are not inimical to the country’s unity as was initially feared.

If a Telangana state is created, it will be a first again.

For the first time, a non-Hindi speaking group — speakers of Telugu — will be broken down into two sub-national political entities.

This, on the face of it, privileges the question of development over identity, like the results of the Bihar elections in 2010.

Can the change in India’s internal map mark another beginning? Or will short-term considerations rule?

Think Of Those That Love You

If someone should hurt you
and say a thing unkind,
Remember what I write you,
and keep these thoughts in mind.

For everyone that makes you cry,
there are three who make you smile.
And a smile will last a long, long time,
but a tear just a little while.

Don’t let someone who hates the world
cause you to hate it too.
Behind the clouds is a golden sun,
and a sky that’s full of blue.

If someone said a thing that’s cruel,
don’t let it get to you,
Your achievements are greatly numbered,
and your faults are very few.

So if a certain person should act a certain way,
Think of those who love you and don’t let it spoil your day.

Attitude matters

An old man lived alone in Minnesota . He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped
him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time.

I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.

Love,
Dad

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son’s reply was: ‘Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad, It’s the best I could do for you from here.’


Moral:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS…

A nice short story I found, and wanted to share…

As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline -1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago.

It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a ‘Dear John’ letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael and said that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah.

It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.

‘Operator,’ I began, ‘ this is an unusual request. I’m trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. Is there anyway you can tell me if there is a phone number for an address that was on an envelope in the wallet?’

She suggested I speak with her supervisor, who hesitated for a moment then said, ‘Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can’t give you the number.’ She said, as a courtesy, she would call that number, explain my story and would ask them if they wanted her to connect me. I waited a few minutes and then she was back on the line. ‘I have a party who will speak with you.’

I asked the woman on the other end of the line if she knew anyone by the name of Hannah. She gasped, ‘Oh! we bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!’

‘Would you know where that family could be located now?’ I asked. ‘I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in a nursing home some years ago,’ the woman said. ‘Maybe if you got in touch with them they might be able to track down the daughter.’

She gave me the name of the nursing home and I called the number. They told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living. I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.

This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old?

Nevertheless, I called the nursing home in which Hannah was supposed to be living and the man who answered the phone told me, ‘Yes, Hannah is staying with us.’

Even though it was already 10 p.m., I asked if I could come by to see her. ‘Well,’ he said hesitatingly, ‘if you want to take a chance, she might be in the day room watching television.’

I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. The night nurse and a guard greeted me at the door. We went up to the third floor of the large building. In the day room, the nurse introduced me to Hannah.

She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter. The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, ‘ Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael.’

She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said softly, ‘I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor.’

‘Yes,’ she continued, ‘Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often and,’ she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, ‘tell him I still love him. You know,’ she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, ‘I never did marry, I guess no one ever matched up to Michael.’

I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, ‘Was the old lady able to help you?’ I told him she had given me a lead. ‘At least I have a last name. But I think I’ll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet.’

I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, ‘ Hey, wait a minute! That’s Mr. Goldstein’s wallet. I’d know it anywhere with that right red lacing. He’s always losing that wallet must have found it in the halls at least three times.’

‘Who’s Mr. Goldstein?’ I asked as my hand began to shake. ‘He’s one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That’s Mike Goldstein’s wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks.’ I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse’s office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on. I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up.

On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, ‘I think he’s still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He’s a darling old man. ‘We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, ‘Oh, it is missing!’

‘This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?’ I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, ‘Yes, that’s it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward.’

‘No, thank you,’ I said. ‘But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet.’ The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. ‘You read that letter?’

‘Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is.’ He suddenly grew pale. ‘Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me,’ he begged.

‘She’s fine … just as pretty as when you knew her.’ I said softly. The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, ‘Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow.’ He grabbed my hand and said, ‘You know something, mister, I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I’ve always loved her.’

‘Mr. Goldstein,’ I said, ‘come with me. ‘We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her. ‘Hannah,’ she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. ‘Do you know this man?’

She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn’t say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, ‘Hannah, it’s Michael. Do you remember me?’

She gasped, ‘Michael! I don’t believe it! Michael! It’s you! My Michael!’ He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces.

‘See,’ I said. ‘See how the Good Lord works! If it’s meant to be, it will be.’ About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. ‘Can you get away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!’

It was a beautiful wedding with all the people at the nursing home dressed up to join in the celebration. Hannah wore a light beige dress and looked beautiful. Michael wore a dark blue suit and stood tall. They made me their best man. The hospital gave them their own room and if you ever wanted to see a 76-year-old bride and a 79-year-old groom acting like two teenagers, you had to see this couple.

A perfect ending for a love affair that had lasted nearly 60 years!

Real Maths!!

Equation 1:

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2:

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Therefore,
Men – earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3:

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend

Therefore,
Women – spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)

And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

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