jokes

Company Full Names

September 28, 2011 post

Company Full Names…just dont miss it…. :-

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output…

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

Dangerous Friends Main ghar late aaya tho Dad…

August 26, 2011 status

Dangerous Friends:

Main ghar late aaya tho Dad ne pucha: “Where were you?”
Maine kaha: “Friend ke ghar tha.”
Dad ne mere hi saamne mere 10 friends ko call kiya.
………4 ne kaha: “Haan Uncle, Yahin par tha.”
2 ne kaha: “Abhi just nikla hai.”
3 ne kaha: “Yahin hai Uncle, Padh raha hai, Phone du kya?”
1 ne tho had hi kar di, kaha: “Haan Papa bolo kya hua”…!!!

(Abb bolo HAR EK friend zaroori hota hai!!)

Indian PM Vajpayee and Bush are sitting …

February 10, 2011 status

Indian PM Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,

‘Isn’t that Bush and Vajpayee?’

The barman says ‘Yep, that’s them.’

So the guy walks over and says, ‘Hello, what are you guys doing?’

Bush says, ‘We’re planning world war 3.’

The guy says, ‘Really? What’s going to happen?’

And Vajpayee says, ‘Well, we’re going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman.’

And the guy exclaimed, ‘A bicycle repairman?!! !’

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, ‘See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!’

Heights of Misunderstanding

February 8, 2011 post

Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck:

“I have great news: I’m a month overdue. I think we’re going to have a baby!

The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can’t tell anybody.”

The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance Energy because the electricity bill has not been paid.

” Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma? ”

“Yes… speaking”

Reliance guy, “You’re a month overdue, you know!”

“How do YOU know?” stammers the young woman.

“Well, ma’am, it’s in our files!” says the Reliance guy.

“What are you saying? It’s in your files …HOW?????”

” Yes ………… . We have a system of finding out who’s overdue ”

” GOD!!!!!!… …… This is too much…….. ..”

“Madam, I am sorry… I am following orders…. I
have to inform you are overdue”

“I know that … let me talk to my husband about this tonight. ….. He will speak to your company tomorrow ”

That night, she tells her husband about the incident, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to Reliance office the next day morning.

“What’s going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue?

What business is that of yours?” the husband shouts.

“Just calm down,” says the lady at the reception at Reliance, “it’s nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us.”

“PAY you? And if I refuse?”

“Well, in that case, sir, we’d have no option but to cut yours off.”

“And what would my wife do then?” the husband asks.

“I don’t know. I guess she’d have to use a candle.”

Rajni Jokes

January 7, 2011 Jokes

RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITs!!!!!!

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RECENTLY CHINA AIRPORTS WERE CLOSED DUE TO HEAVY FOG
…….. LATER IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT RAJANIKANTH WAS SMOKING IN INDIA!!!!!!!!!!

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RAJANIKANTH DID HIS KG FROM SEVEN DIFFERENT PLACES..TODAY THOSE PLACES ARE KNOWN AS IITs!!!!!!

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GOVERNMENT OF INDIA PAYS TAX TO RAJANIKANTH FOR  LIVING  IN INDIA!!!!!!!

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DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN RAJANIKANTH STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON. THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE………!!!!

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Rajnikanth was practicing for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary!!

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Hrithik tried to participate in a dance competition with Rajnikanth. Result: He is in a wheel chair in Gujarish.

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Once Rajnikanth was playing Cricket and Rain Stopped due to Heavy Play

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Rajnikanth was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in jr.college……………. He chose science,arts and commerce!!!!!!!

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Rajnikanth can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!

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One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs… Thats how the Log table was invented.

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One day Rajnikanth bunked school. Since then it is known as Sunday

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Once Rajnikanth was on the hot seat of KBC….
And the computer needed lifeline to choose the question. Mind it!

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Micheal Jordan to Rajini: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you? Rajini: Rascala, how do you think the earth spins!?

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Roger Federer: I know everything about tennis. You can ask me anything.
Rajnikanth: Ok. Tell me, how many holes are there in the NET??

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All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did…
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa… mind it!!

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