At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.
At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:Why? Would it rather have been you?
At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala” dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years…
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask….
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:-No,he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout…it’s just the money.
When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-No.. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair….
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I’m shedding…. ..
At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-No it wont. It will just bleed.
You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-Gosh, it’s a miracle ……..it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!