Mail from a frustated man due to Fwds – too good

Dear Friends

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have
forwarded chain letters to me in 2009 & 2010.

Because of your kindness:

>>> I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out
that it’s good for removing toilet stains.

>>> I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting
on a needle infected with AIDS.

>>> I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using
deodorants because they cause cancer.

>>> I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any
other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7
blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and try to rob me.

>>> I also stopped answering the phone for fear that
they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get
a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore
and Tokyo.

>>> I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for
fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and
urine.

>>> When I go to parties, I don’t look at any girl, no
matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me
to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me
taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

>>> I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce
account. A sick girl that was about to die in the
hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she’s been 7
since 1993…).

>>> I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made
expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were
supposed to send me when I participated in their
special e-mail program would arrive soon.

>>> My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did
the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

>>> Still open to help some from Bulgaria who wants to
use my account to transfer his uncle property of some
hundred millions $.

>>> Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those
Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. now most
of those ‘Wishes’ are already married (or going to be
married) – (to someone else!) 🙁

>>> IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 1246 people
in the next 10 seconds, a bird will SH** on your head
today at 6:30pm.

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