“It’s not the pace of life I mind. It’s the sudden stop at the end.”
“I’M SIGNIFICANT!…screamed the dust speck.”
“The best presents don’t come in boxes.”
“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”
“There’s more to this world than just people, you know.”
“To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.”
“If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don’t get asked to do it again.”
“In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”
“As far as I’m concerned, if something is so complicated that you can’t
explain it in 10 seconds, then it’s probably not worth knowing anyway.”
“Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?”
“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”
“If you couldn’t find any weirdness, maybe we’ll just have to make some!”
“There’s no problem so awful that you can’t add some guilt to it and make it even worse!”
“There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is.”
“The worst part is that I don’t even have the fun of doing the things I’m getting blamed for.”
“Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time.”
“I’d hate to have a kid like me.”
“I swear I’m an Angel…….the Horns are just an Accessory!”
